found : 369Quotations
Quotations by Division : [ Humorists and Comedians

Showing results from 9337 total quotations found.



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A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
~ Woody Allen | (American director, actor and comedian. ) | 1935-? | Sex
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
~ Helen Rowland | ( American journalist and humorist. ) | 1875-1950 | Bachelor
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
~ Helen Rowland | ( American journalist and humorist. ) | 1875-1950 | Bachelor
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Banks
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Banks
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Banks
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Banks
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Banks
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
~ Helen Rowland | ( American journalist and humorist. ) | 1875-1950 | Marriage
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
~ Fred A. Allen | (American comedian. ) | 1894-1956 | Fame
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
~ Douglas Adams | (British comic radio dramatist ) | 1952- | Trying
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Custom
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
~ Josh Billings | ( American humorist and lecturer. ) | 1815-1885 | Animals
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A fool and her money are soon courted.
~ Helen Rowland | ( American journalist and humorist. ) | 1875-1950 | Money
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Conversation
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
~ Josh Billings | ( American humorist and lecturer. ) | 1815-1885 | Happiness
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A man can learn only two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
~ Will Rogers | ( American humorist and actor. ) | 1879-1935 | Learning
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Training
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Aid
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.
~ Jean Paul | ( German novelist and humorist. ) | 1763-1825 | Character
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
~ Mark Twain | (American Humorist and Educator ) | 1835 - 1910 | Knowledge
quotes Division : Humorists and Comedians   
     

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